Dear Alice, Help Me
by MyImmortalMajor
Summary: What if Alice did see the emails Bella sent her. What would be her reaction? What about the rest of the Cullens? T for language
1. The Beginning

**Okay... I suck. I'm a sucky, sucky writer who sucks. I had written 2 chapters of Never that i was going to post, and another chapter of The Helper, as well as countless other fanfics and poems, and you won't believe what i did. I deleted all the files from my computer. That's right folks, I am officially an idiot. But, I have the never chapters written somewhere so when I find them I'll post them immediately. I hope you can forgive me and review chapter 1 of this fanfic. I wrote all of it in one night, so posts will be regular. Pleeeeeease review for me!**

This fanfic, in every chapter there will be The email Bella sends that doesn't get delivered at the beginning. But Alice see's these in a vision, and second half of a chapter is her and all the other Cullen's reactions.

Alice,

You've disappeared, like everything else. Who else can I talk to? I'm lost. When you left...and he left...you took everything with you. But he lied. It's not like he never existed. The absence of him is everywhere I look. It's like a huge hole has been punched through my chest. The bleeding won't stop. But in a way I'm glad...the pain is my only reminder that he was real...that you all were.

In a way... I'm sure I deserve it. If I had been better you would have all stayed, and pain is an extra punishment for me. Part of me wishes that another vampire could come and change me, then I could find you. But... you probably wouldn't want me there would you?

Please reply. I know you'll see this. Or see me writing it. I know you will.

Come back to me Alice.

I miss you, I love you,

Bella.

* * *

Alice sat at the antique mahogany table, pen rushing across the paper at lightning speed, eyes unseeing. She sat like that, with all the vampires around her holding their breath, for a full minute. Then, with a gasp, she pulled out of her trance and looked down at what she had drawn. "A letter from Bella," she whispered.

Esme slowly took it, and read it aloud to the group, her eyes pained. _"Alice, You've disappeared, like everything else." _

"I knew she'd hate me," said Alice, wrapping her arms around Jasper for comfort.

"She doesn't hate you," said Emmett, "but if there's anyone she should hate it my low-life brother up there." he jerked his head towards the ceiling.

"Don't say that," said Esme softly.

"Why not?" said Jasper his lip curling in distaste for his sibling. "It's true."

Rosalie moaned. "Can you shut up and let Esme read?"

"_Who else can I talk to? I'm lost. When you left...and he left...you took everything with you. But he lied. It's not like he never existed. The absence of him is everywhere I look. It's like a huge hole has been punched through my chest. The bleeding won't stop. But in a way I'm glad...the pain is my only reminder that he was real...that you all were. And in a way... I'm sure I deserve it."_

Cries of objection were heard throughout the room. Even Rosalie looked protestant. The piano that was playing a sad melody upstairs faltered a stop, signaling that Edward had heard the letter too.

"That poor girl," mumbled Carlisle.

"_If I had been better you would have all stayed, and pain is an extra punishment for me. Part of me wishes that another vampire could come and change me, then I could find you. But... you probably wouldn't want me there would you?"_

"I do," said Alice quietly.

"Same here," agreed Emmett.

"I would want her here, although it has been nice not to want to kill her all the time," Jasper said as he sighed.

"_Please reply. I know you'll see this. Or see me writing it. I know you will. Come back to me Alice. I miss you, I love you, Bella."_

Not a moment had passed from the end of this letter, but Edward appeared at the top of the stairs with a suitcase in hand and a backpack on his back. Alice stopped him before he reached the bottom.

"Where the hell do you think you're going?" she demanded.

"I'm leaving," he said not meeting her eyes, " I've had enough, I'm getting out of here."

"So you're running away?" she said with a harsh laugh. "You coward. Have you seen this?" Alice snatched the letter from Esme and shoved it into her brothers fist. "This is what you've done to her. You've _killed_ her. And she thinks it's her own fault. Aren't you going to go back there like you should? Fix things?"

Edward looked straight into Alice's evil glare. "It's what's best."

Alice did what any person with an ounce of sense would do. She slapped him as hard as her vampiric powers would allow. "That's bullshit," she spat at him, before turning away and storming out the door.


	2. Alice, It Hurts

**Oh My God!!! I had no idea what an overwhelming response my story would get! Thank you soo much to everyone who read and subscribed, and an especial thanks to my reviewers; **_ruby diamonds, xteamxjacobxbabyx, mrs-bella-cullen-in-my-dreams, JessXO, Kemq, Dozey212, , Tesssel, Alicia Peplova _**and **_A Chatterbox Eye. _**Thank you guys sooo much, I love you all. Hope you like this chapter as well :D

* * *

**Alice,

It hurts. It really hurts. Help me Alice. I can't do this alone. Although, if I wasn't alone, I wouldn't feel as if I was dying every second of my existence like am now.

I went back to school today, but only lasted until I walked into the Cafeteria and saw your empty table. I spent the rest of the day in my room. Although I wish I hadn't gone at all, I could barely hold a pen because of my fingers. They're all bloodied and bruised from taking out the radio from my truck. I don't like music. Music hurts.

The air seems colder here now. Colder than usual I mean, and not just because winter's on the way. It's darker too. Like all the light is gone. From my world at least.

I miss you, I love you,

Bella

* * *

"Esme! Carlisle! Emmett! Rosalie! There's another one!," yelled Jasper as Alice wrote.

"Another what dear?" asked Esme as she waltzed down the stairs, fresh from cleaning the bathroom.

"Another letter from Bella," said Alice, scanning quickly through what she'd just finished writing. When she finished, she put her head on Jaspers shoulder, to cry tearlessly as he held her.

Rosalie took the letter.

_Alice, _she read. _It hurts. It really hurts. Help me Alice. I can't do this alone. Although, if I wasn't alone, I wouldn't feel as if I was dying every second of my existence like am now. _

No one commented. They were all thinking the same thing; this is my fault. They all regretted the decision to swear to Edward never to go back. They all felt a slight inclining to hit there brother like Alice had.

_I went back to school today, but only lasted until I walked into the Cafeteria and saw your empty table. I spent the rest of the day in my room. Although I wish I hadn't gone at all, I could barely hold a pen because of my fingers. They're all bloodied and bruised from taking out the radio from my truck. I don't like music. Music hurts._

"She's losing herself," said Esme softly. "He took all her life with him."

"But I think he left all his life with her as well," Carlisle sighed.

_The air seems colder here now. Colder than usual I mean, and not just because winter's on the way. It's darker too. Like all the light is gone. From my world at least._

_I miss you, I love you,_

_Bella_

"I can't do this," Alice said, pushing away from Jasper and heading for the door. "I can't watch her die." She took off running into the forest, and the Cullens took after her, grabbing her arms and trying to pull her back. Emmett tackled her to the ground and picked her up, his arms firmly locked around her.

"EMMETT LET ME GO!" she screamed, as she thrashed and kicked, trying to get free.

"Alice, we promised him. We can't go back," Jasper said calmly, sending out soothing rays of his power.

"JASPER DON'T YOU DARE TRY AND TRICK ME! I DON'T NEED TO BE CALM! LET ME GO!!!"

But they still restrained her, no matter how hard she hit, how hard she kicked, how loud she cursed at them, or how close she came to biting them. Eventually, Jaspers calmness overcame her and she stopped moving. Emmett let her fall to the ground where she again began sobbing. They couldn't comfort her. She was inconsolable.

Time passed, maybe hours, but eventually Alice walked through the door of the Cullen household. She was covered with dirt and not one hair on her head was in place. She didn't say anything, she didn't turn to look at the five eyes that were on her, she just wordlessly walked up the stairs and to her room. Jasper stood up and slowly followed, knowing there was nothing he could do to help her now.


	3. Dreams

**Back again :D You don't know how incredibly happy u people reading this have made me!!!! :D :D :D You're all bloody awesome. And without further ado, here's chapter 3...**

* * *

Alice,

The dreams are terrible Alice. Every single night the dreams come. I wake up screaming so loud I scare myself awake. Poor Charlie, I know it scares him. But he never asks what's in the dream. I'm glad, because then he would think I'm screaming over nothing.

Because that's what I am screaming over. That's the dream; nothing. Every where I turn it's black. I'm in the forest, and I know there's something there, something important, something I'll die without... and I can't find it. Not because it's hidden too well, but because I don't deserve to find it. I see nothing. That's when I wake up.

Charlie doesn't come into my room any more. He knows it won't help. Nothing can help me.

I miss you, I love you,

Bella

* * *

"No, no no, please not again," moaned Alice as she picked a pen and a piece of paper from the drawer under the table.

"Bella's writing another one," Emmett said, knowing that her letters were the only thing that had troubled his sister lately.

Jasper went to his wife and put his arm around her tiny frame. Everyone braced themselves for what was coming.

As Alice returned from her trance, she immediately pushed the letter away. Emmett took it from the tables edge, took a deep breath, and read.

_Alice, The dreams are terrible Alice. Every single night the dreams come. I wake up screaming so loud I scare myself awake._

Carlisle walked in from his study. "It seems like she's suffering from post-traumatic stress disorder."

"You would be too if you'd suffered the worst break up in history," snapped Alice. "She didn't just loose her soulmate, she lost her family and her future."

"That's right," Rosalie realised. "She wanted to be one of us."

Alice, feeling overwhelmed, put her head in her hands. "The thing is... she still will be."

"Alice, w-what are you talking about?" asked Esme worriedly.

She sighed. "Before Edward left her, I had a vision of her either being a vampire with golden eyes, or dead. Now, I either see her as a vampire with red eyes, or dead. Which can only mean one thing-"

"Victoria," Jasper finished. "Victoria's coming back for her."

Carlisle already had his cell-phone out. "I'll call Edward. See what he wants to do." He turned and left.

Silence fell, and since Emmett didn't know what to do, he continued reading.

_Poor Charlie, I know it scares him. But he never asks what's in the dream. I'm glad, because then he would think I'm screaming over nothing. _

_Because that's what I am screaming over. That's the dream; nothing._

Rosalie snorted. Although she felt terrible over what Edward did to Bella, she didn't think 'nothing' could be a very scary dream.

"Shut up Rosalie!" yelled Alice with a ferocity that stunned the blonde beauty. Her sister had never yelled at her specifically that harshly before.

"Do you not think nothing is scary?" the pixie vampire accused. "Because I do. Imagine having no memory of what your life before you were a vampire. Knowing nothing except your name. Every time you looked for a memory, some clue as to who you were, there was nothing. Nothing at all. I think you'd be pretty terrified."

"Alice, please calm down honey," Jasper said with soothing rays.

She looked into his eyes and felt a sense of security. "I'm sorry Jazz, but I'm sick of her pretending to car about Bella. We all know she didn't give a shit." She glared at Rosalie, and Emmett had to put a hand on his wife's shoulder to keep her seated.

_Every where I turn it's black. I'm in the forest, and I know there's something there, something important, something I'll die without... and I can't find it. Not because it's hidden too well, but because I don't deserve to find it. I see nothing._

"That's terrible," Esme said softly. Rosalie personally agreed that that dream would be a bit frighting, but she wasn't giving Alice that satisfaction of knowing she was right.

_Charlie doesn't come into my room any more. He knows it won't help. Nothing can help me._

_I miss you, I love you,_

_Bella_

Just as Emmett finished reading, Carlisle walked back into the room, and he didn't look happy.

"Edward says he was already tracking Victoria. I told him any of us could come and help him, but he said he wanted to do it alone." He threw the phone onto the couch and sighed. "I hope he finds her."

"I don't," said Alice.

There was a stunned silence. "What do you mean?" Jasper asked, throughly confused.

"I hope he doesn't find her," she said strongly. "I hope Victoria gets to Bella. I want her to become a vampire. Then Edward could get the stick out of his ass and take her back."

"That's not gonna happen," Rosalie drawled. "If Victoria gets her, she won't play nice. She'll want Bella to feel every pain she's felt since she lost James. She'll do things you couldn't think up no matter how hard you tried. She won't kill Bella, she'll destroy her. Make her forget every feeling except pain, before finally ending her life."

Alice's chin was raised in defiance. "I know Bella. She would rather be 'destroyed' by a vampire than to live to an old age without Edward." She shot another glare at her sister, with eyes like daggers. Rosalie just laughed. "I'm going hunting," the little vampire said, heading for the door. Jasper followed obediently.

When she slammed the door on the way out, the whole house trembled.


	4. Crazy? I'm not crazy

**Okayyyy for some reason this didn't post yesterday??? Oh well, I'll just have to give you TWO chapters today :D**

**Helloo faithful readers. Major apologies on not updating this yesterday, but my parents made me go to a BBQ with some people i had know idea who they were. Although, I kinda needed a break. I was suffering a slight writers block. I was having trouble transitioning the Alice friom the first couple chapters when she was very upset and angry and irrational to the Alice of the rest of the story who is accepting, while still not happy. But all is better now... i think. Anywhoo, I've been getting a few requests for other stories, after I've finished this. So if any of you have ideas or want me to write anything, just type it in a review and I'll add it to the list! Hope you like the chapter!**

* * *

Alice,

They think I'm crazy. Charlie must think somethings wrong with me, because when I came home from school (I can last the day. The hole in my chest just hurts worse) and found Renee in my room, packing my things. How dare they! I told them, I told them I wasn't going anywhere and they couldn't make me. They gave up eventually.

I went to your house when Renee left. Well... I guess it's your old house now. I wonder where you are... I bet Esme's had fun decorating the house. A new project for her.

It was so empty Alice. There's nothing in it, no memory that you were ever there. It's as if no one's ever lived there. But you haven't put it up for sale, so I know you'll come back to it one day... long after I'm gone.

Maybe... maybe he didn't lie Alice. There was no sign you had ever been there... what if I loose my memory of you? Of all of you? I'm so scared of that.

I miss you, I love you,

Bella

* * *

"Enough!"

Emmett, Rosalie, Jasper and Alice all turned to look at Esme, who stood at the foot of the stairs, with her arms folder and a furious expression on her usually sweet face. Alice and Rosalie had been having another argument, and each of their husbands had stepped into defend them.

Their mother took a shaky breath. "I am sick and tired of you all bickering with one and other. Bella's departure has effected us all. We have lost Edward because of it. But I will not have your petty arguments destroying this family further. Every single day you fight, _every single day_. I have had enough. Now, apologise to your siblings and be done with it."

The four looked ashamed of themselves. Emmett picked up an unwilling Jasper into a bear hug. Rosalie looked grudgingly at Alice. "Sorry," she mumbled. Alice looked especially guilty. "I'm sorry Rosalie, and I'm sorry Esme. I'm... I'm just not taking things to well. I didn't think of the effect it would have on the family."

"Oh Alice," Esme said sweetly as she hugged her adopted daughter. "Things will get better." She glanced up at the clock on the wall. "Isn't it around now that Bella writes her letters?"

"Yes," the sad girl sighed. "That's why I was a little snappish."

Jasper silently walked up behind his wife and wrapped his arms around her waist. He didn't say anything, just kissed her neck, but she immediately felt comforted.

"Okay," Alice said eventually, "she's writing it." Alice sat down, transferring the email that would never reach them onto paper and ink. Seconds passed, then Alice saw no more.

_Alice_, she read.

_They think I'm crazy. Charlie must think somethings wrong with me, because when I came home from school (I can last the day. The hole in my chest just hurts worse) and found Renee in my room, packing my things._"Maybe that would be better," Emmett said reasonably. "You know, get away from everything. She might feel better."

_How dare they!_

"Or maybe not."

_I told them, I told them I wasn't going anywhere and they couldn't make me. They gave up eventually. _

_I went to your house when Renee left._

"That's not a good idea," Jasper said, wincing. "She's just going to feel worse because there's nothing there."

_Well... I guess it's your old house now. I wonder where you are... I bet Esme's had fun decorating the house. A new project for her. _

"I wish it was," said Esme wistfully.

_It was so empty Alice. _

"Knew it."

"Be quiet Jasper, please."

"Sorry Rose."

_There's nothing in it, no memory that you were ever there. It's as if no one's ever lived there. But you haven't put it up for sale, so I know you'll come back to it one day... long after I'm gone._

_Maybe... maybe he didn't lie Alice. There was no sign you had ever been there... what if I loose my memory of you? Of all of you? I'm so scared of that._

"That won't happen." Alice shook her head firmly. "She will never forget."

_I miss you, I love you,_

_Bella  
_

Just then, Carlisle walked through the door, announcing his return from work. "Edward called on my break. He's found Victoria."

Sighs of relief were heard from without the room, even from Alice. Truth be told, if Bella _was_ killed by Victoria, Alice would hunt down the nomad herself.

"Where was she when he found her?" Emmett wondered.

"Well, at the moment, she's somewhere in the South," he replied.

"So you're saying he doesn't know exactly where she is?" Jasper asked worriedly. He was more than a little anxious over what stories Victoria might hear in the South, but he kept his queries to himself.

"He's found a trail that goes through Texas, he's going to follow that up." The doctor ran a hand through his hair, worried for the safety of his son. "He'll catch up to her."

Rosalie looked grim. "Or she'll catch up to him."


	5. Not like I have anything to live for

**Hey all. For some reason, chapter 4 didn't post when I wanted it too. Thanks to all the people that reminded me :D Also, you are a really good guesser ladygoddess8.**

* * *

Alice,

Maybe it would be better if I wasn't here? Wasn't alive I mean. _He_ talked to me one day about it. Dying. Suicide. He said us humans had it so easy. He even listed many of the ways we could die. It's not like I have anything to live for anyway...

I miss you, I love you,

Bella.

* * *

Jasper walked through the antique rosewood door, dumped his book bag on the table and sunk down on the sofa to join Emmett watching the football game playing. Alice skipped over to her husband, softly kissing him on the cheek by way of greeting. "How was class?" she asked.

"Alright," he replied. "They started off with the easy stuff. Although I did not agree with some of the other classmates stances on war."

She rolled her eyes. "Of course you wouldn't-". Her face suddenly went blank. "Paper," she said breathlessly, and Jasper and Emmett immediately got up and steered her towards the table. What she wrote was short, different from the other letters.

A quick scan of her newly finished work froze Alice in her place, her mouth gaping and her eyes wide. She looked as if she wasn't breathing.

Emmett prised the letter from her fingers while Jasper tried to get a reaction from her. When the brawny brother had read through the letter and understood Alice's shock, he lightly hit Jasper's arm to have him read it too.

"Holy shit," he said when he was done.

"My thoughts exactly," Emmett agreed. Alice still hadn't moved.

"Esme!" Jasper called, and she was down in an instant.

"What's wrong?" She looked alarmed at the sight of her motionless daughter. "What's happened? Why is Alice-?" Jasper handed her the letter.

Esme's hand flew up and covered her mouth as she gasped. "Oh my! This-this can't be true!"

Alice's voice was flat as she said "Would anyone have objections to me going back to her now?" Emmett and Esme shook their heads, but Jasper stayed silent. "Jasper what are you thinking?" she asked him.

He thought for a moment on how best to answer. "I don't think she'll do it," he replied eventually. "Think about it. We know Bella. We know what she will and will not do. She loves Charlie and Renee too much to go through with it. Give it until one o'clock. If she hasn't sent another letter by then, we'll go."

Alice grudgingly agreed.

***

Time seemed to slow down as they all waited in hope for another vision. At 12:23 Rosalie walked in the door, carrying bags full of shopping that she was taking on her and Emmett's trip to . She wasn't happy when she found out they couldn't take the plane they'd planned. Emmett refused to leave without seeing if Bella was ok.

Sop they all waited. Rosalie, sitting angrily on the foot of the stairs. Emmett, staring at the black TV screen and twiddling his thumbs. Jasper, pacing from the door to the couch and back. Esme, cleaning thing that was already impeccable. Alice, sitting poised and ready at the table, pencil in hand and paper in front of her.

Two hours, nine minutes and thirteen point four five seconds later, they got what they'd been wishing for.

* * *

Alice,

I couldn't do it.

I miss you, I love you,

Bella.

* * *

A slow smile spread across Alice's face, and no one else needed to read the letter. The Alice ran to her husband's arms, laughing with relief. Emmett picked up his mother in the biggest hug she'd had in a long time.

Rosalie sat on the stairs alone, forgotten in her bitterness.


	6. Time Passes

**Thanks to all the people that review the lst two chapters :D This is a little shorter than the others, and if you want, I can re-write it. Your wish is my command. Pleeeeeease review!!!**

* * *

Alice,

Charlie tried to get me to move to Jacksonville again. He said there was no point in staying since _he_ wasn't coming back. I told him I was fine, but he didn't buy it. Then he said I needed a therapist at least, because I was a loner and never saw my friends. I told him I would see Jessica tonight, so now I have to.

I realised something today. Time passes. Even when it seems impossible. Even when each tick of the second hand aches like the pulse of blood behind a bruise. It passes unevenly, in strange lurches and dragging lulls, but pass it does. Even for me. No matter how much I wish it wouldn't. No matter how much I wish it would go backwards to a time when there was no pain or loneliness or aching sadness. No matter what, time passes.

I miss you, I love you,

Bella.

* * *

The Cullen household was emptier than it normally was. Edward had said he was somewhere in Brazil, Emmett and Rosalie were in Africa, and Carlisle was working double shifts at the hospital so he was gone most of the day. Jasper tried as hard as he could to be there for Alice, while Alice struggled to conceal from him how much she was suffering. Esme missed being surrounded by her family, and was feeling lonelier every day. She hadn't seen Edward in months so she missed him the most.

Bella had affected the family much more than they had expected.

As the sun fell beneath the green canopy of the forest, the dwindling family received their sixth letter from their human friend.

_Alice, _read Carlisle._ Charlie tried to get me to move to Jacksonville again.  
_

"That's pointless," stated Jasper obviously. "She'll never go."

_He said there was no point in staying since _**he**_ wasn't coming back. I told __him I was fine, but he didn't buy it. Then Charlie said I needed a therapist at least, because I was a loner and never saw my friends._Alice laughed harshly. "Edward really isn't the best at making plans. He wanted her to move on, it didn't work. He wanted her to hang around her human friends, and, surprise surprise, it didn't work!"

"Now Alice, we said we wouldn't blame him," said Esme kindly. "No matter how stupid his plans were."

I told him I would see Jessica tonight, so now I have to.

_I realised something today. Time passes. Even when it seems impossible. Even when each tick of the second hand aches like the pulse of blood under a bruise. It passes unevenly, in strange lurches and dragging lulls, but pass it does. Even for me. No matter how much I wish it wouldn't. No matter how much I wish it would go backwards to a time when there was no pain or loneliness or aching sadness. No matter what, it passes. _

_I miss you, I love you,_

_Bella._

The four could not express how deep the sorrow they felt was for their friend. They admired her, for her strength and tenacity. The way she tried and tried to live her life and move forward while staying in the past and holding onto them. The way she would never let them go, they could never let her her go either.


	7. Forgotten Beauty

**Hiii :D Okay, i got a review i have to say i completely agree with, and that is that I am rushing to update and therefore the chapters aren't as good because of it. I'm still going to update quickly, but maybe just a chapter every second day. Maybe. Once again, thank you for the amazing reviews. Some of you are way to nice to me. So please review again!!!**

* * *

Alice,

I saw him! He was there, clear as day. Maybe I'm crazy now, I guess that's okay. But if a rush of danger is what it take to see him, then that's what I'll find. No matter what.

But danger in Forks... that's not so easy. I have a good start though. Thank God there's a good mechanic in town.

I'm happy today... well, somewhat happy. Happy to know he was _real_. But even the thought of seeing him again won't keep the dreams away.

I'd forgotten how beautiful he was.

I miss you, I love you,

Bella.

* * *

Esme's heart had been slightly relieved of it's worry when Edward arrived on their doorstep. But knowing he was safe only brought on a million more questions she was too polite to ask him.

His eyes, though gold, were murky. Clouded, as though he was looking at the world but not seeing it. Although he hadn't physically changed, the way he talked and held himself was like a mediocre actor delivering his lines. It didn't fool anyone. Even Alice was too concerned about her brother to notice he was wearing the exact same clothes he'd left in all those weeks ago.

Alice had planned that the next time she saw Edward she would show him the letters. Try and force him to go back. But now that he was here in front of her, she couldn't do it. She finally understood that the effect of leaving Bella was as hard for the one leaving as it was for the one left behind. It didn't make it any less stupid, but she could sympathise.

Edward only stayed for an hour or two. He didn't say much, mostly listened to what we had been doing. He did say though, that he thinks Victoria tried to leave a false trail for him, but that she was still in Brazil and not planning on going any where soon. The letters were not mentioned.

After he left , almost ironically, another letter arrived. Esme took it from the table and began to read.

_Alice, I saw him! He was there, clear as day. Maybe I'm crazy now, I guess that's okay._Carlisle's face became creased with worry. "Hallucinations now as well. Her mind is really unhealthy. She needs-"

"Us," Jasper finished, though it was not what Carlisle was going to say.

_But if a rush of danger is what it take to see him, then that's what I'll find. No matter what._

Alice laughed. "No way. There is no way for anything to be dangerous in Forks. We're not there!"

_But danger in Forks... that's not so easy. I have a good start though._

The pixie vampire's laugh turned into a moan. "She's going to do something really stupid and reckless is't she?"

"Probably," said Esme sadly. "That's exactly what she promised him she wouldn't do."

_I'm happy today... well, somewhat happy. Happy to know he was real, and that I didn't just dream up that part of my life. But even the thought of seeing him again won't keep the dreams away.  
_

_I'd forgotten how beautiful he was._

I miss you, I love you,

_Bella._"I think he misses her too," Esme sighed.

"I miss him," said Alice wistfully. "I miss Edward. Not the person we just saw, the real him. I know he's a complete douche bag, and responsible for destroying the happiness of my best friend and this family, but he's still my brother."

Carlisle sighed, something he seemed to do a lot these days. "I think we all do Alice."


	8. Jake

**Ummmm..... do I have any readers left? Cause if I do I'm sooooo sorry about the whole not updating thing. I didn't mean to leave it this long!!!! I meant only a couple of days in between chapters. Unfortunately, i got grounded and my mum took my laptop away so i couldn't update. Never fear though, I am back as always. I HAVE 105 REVIEWS!!!!! THANK YOU ALL SOOOOOO MUCH!!! I will reply to them all, but it may take a while. I'm interested to hear what you think of this one...

* * *

**

Alice,

I wish I had your real address. I wish I could tell you about Jake. He makes me feel better. I mean, he makes me feel alive... almost. When he's there... it's like the hole in my chest's plugged. Still there, but blocked for a while. Until night falls and the dreams come.

You would understand me, Alice, if you saw them. You would think they're frighting.

But Jacob's good. And completely reckless. Just what I need; a teenage mechanic who agree's to deceive both our parents while repairing dangerous vehicles using money meant for my college education. He sees no problem in this picture. You should be here Alice, you'd like him.

I miss you, I love you,

Bella

* * *

Emmett and Rosalie arrived back from their trip a few days later. They seemed to have enjoyed themselves, and Emmett said the African Lynxes put up more of a fight than the Canadian ones. Their happiness gave Jasper the idea that maybe Alice could use a holiday. Something to take her mind off Bella... for the most part.

"You missed Edwards visit," Esme informed them.

Emmett frowned. "Is... how was he?" he asked, hoping without hope he was better then he was the last time he was seen.

"He's bad," Alice answered him. "It's like he's hollow, nothing inside. He looks more like a zombie than a vampire. Like he really has lost his soul this time."

There was silence. Rosalie, who missed her brother more then anyone knew, thought cruelly of how much she hated Bella Swan at that moment. Bella had destroyed Edward, made him torture himself over what he thought was 'love' for her. What she would do if she got her hands around that fragile little throat...

Alice gasped and spun around to stare with wide eyes at her sister. "You would do that to her?" she said, with the voice of someone who'd been betrayed. "You... bitch!" Rosalie was unfazed at her sisters vision.

The little vampire was incoherent, so Jasper sat her down, while the others waited patiently to hear what she'd seen. She regained her senses after a while. "She... that monster there... she was in Charlie's house. She grabbed Bella by the throat and - and held her against the wall, choking her. She was saying how it was Bella's fault Edward wasn't here. That everything would be alright if Bella hadn't made him think he was in love. Then, she let her go before...before..." she couldn't bring herself to say the horrible images that had passed through her mind. So instead she said, "She didn't kill her, she destroyed her!" She fell into her husbands arms.

Jasper, Emmett, Esme and Carlisle turned to look at Rosalie, looks of disgust and horror on their faces.

"Rosalie-," Carlisle began, but his daughter cut him off.

"You can all relax," Rose said, in a voice that was almost bored, as she collapsed into the couch. "I wasn't really going to do it." _Although it was nice to imagine, _she thought to herself.

Esme looked aghast. "Why- why would you hate her so much?"

Rosalie thought it was obvious. "Because she's a dirty little slut that's responsible for killing this family."

Alice growled. She looked murderous. "No she is not-"

"If she isn't, then who is?" The family's blonde bombshell was seriously annoyed now. She might miss her manicure appointment. "Look, when they first met, she annoyed me. When she found out what we were, she pissed me off. Now that she's not here, she makes me want to kill her because she's breaking us apart. First Edward lost it, now Alice... soon we'll all be nutty."

"You're wrong," Alice said, echoing the thoughts of all the family. She walked over to the couch where Rosalie sat, and towered over her sister. Rosalie's face was cool, calm and collected

"She loved Edward more than you can comprehend. You know how much love you feel for Emmett? Multiply that by a million and you're getting close. I've seen it, I've seen what they're like together. She didn't want to be a vampire so she could live forever, she wanted to be a vampire to be with _him_ forever. She didn't give a shit about any of the other vampire stuff. And you know what else? She didn't just love Edward. She loved me. She loved me, and she loved Esme and Carlisle and Emmett and Jasper. She loved this family more than she loved her life. So don't you _dare _even _think_ about trying to blame her for this." She sat back down, quite surprised at herself that she'd managed to say all that without hitting anyone.

And yet her sister just rolled her eyes. "Whatever, I don't have to listen to this. Come on Emmett," Rosalie said as she walked to the door.

No one followed.

She looked back at he husband frustratedly. "Emmett, what are you waiting for?" she asked. "Come on."

Emmett looked conflicted. "I – uh . . . no."

Rosalie gaped. "What? What did you say to me?"

"I said no," he said strongly. "Rosalie, I love you, but even thinking that stuff is wrong. Bella was our friend, this isn't her fault."

Rosalie stood for a minute, shocked, in the doorway. She wanted to say something else, but her pride got in the way. Instead she turned and left the house.

Emmett let out a large sigh when he was sure she wouldn't hear him. "How long should I leave it before I go find her?" he asked the room at large.

Jasper didn't skip a beat. "Three hours," he replied.

"Alice," Esme said anxiously. "She's not really going to do that, will she? I don't think she will, but... will you please just scan Bella's future?"

"It's alright Esme, Bella's alive," her daughter replied kindly. "But Bella's writing another letter. Jasper can you pass me a pen?"

When the letter was written, Alice read.

_Alice, I wish I had your real address. I wish I could tell you about Jake. He makes me feel better._

"Who the hell's Jake?" said Emmett, almost angrily. If Jake made her feel better, would she stop writing?

Alice pondered for a minute. "I can't think of anyone named 'Jake'," she said, "but I think I remember something about a Jacob. Edward said something one time about Emphiriam Black's grandson and his child coming to see Bella, to warn her about us. I think he said the child was named Jacob."

"Yes," Carlisle agreed. "There definitely is a Jacob Black at La Push."

_I mean, he makes me feel alive... almost. When he's there... it's like the hole in my chest is plugged. Still there, but blocked for a while. Until night falls and the dreams come.  
_

_You would understand me, Alice, if you saw them. You would think they were frighting. _

"I already do," Alice said with a shiver.

_But Jacob's good. And completely reckless. _

"Why is recklessness important?" Jasper wondered, having a bad feeling about the answer.

_Just what I need; a teenage mechanic who agree's to deceive both our parents while repairing dangerous vehicles using money meant for my college education._

A collective groan was heard throughout the room, along with thoughts similar to 'Why is she even trying?'

_He sees no problem in this picture!_

"I do!" Alice shrieked. "What the hell is she thinking? Is she crazy? Dangerous vehicles and no sense of balance or self preservation don't go well together!!!"

_You should be here Alice, you'd like him._

"Of course!" Emmett said sarcastically. "She loves him already."

_I miss you, I love you,_

_Bella_

Alice sighed. "This won't end well."


	9. Moterbikes? sigh

**Yay! An update! Aren't you happy :D I know I am. Again, really happy with the response for the last chapter. Let's hope it's as good for this!**

* * *

Alice,

I had the most amazing hallucination today. _He_ yelled at me for almost five minutes before I'd hit the brake too abruptly and launched myself over the handlebars. It was amazing. I didn't even feel the cut on my head (it only needed 5 stitches, so don't worry) until Jacob mentioned it. Only problem is I need to see him more now. As they say, absence makes the heart grow fonder.

But what will I do? I need something bigger, better, more dangerous. I'm running out of ideas... but I have one good one left. I won't tell you here, but it'll work. Maybe he'll yell for longer this time. I hope he does, I'd love to see his face... I'd look at him forever if I could.

I love you, I miss you,

Bella.

* * *

Emmett left roughly half an hour after the letter was finished to go and find Rosalie. He was gone hours, and when Esme voiced her worries as to whether or not Emmett could find Rosalie, Alice reassured her. The couple we're talking. Alice felt the conversation was private, so she tried to block most of it out.

They returned eventually. Rosalie mumbled an apology to all of them, and it was obvious she was ashamed they knew her thoughts. It was noted however, that she never took back any of her thoughts. Life returned to almost normal after that.

Alice wasn't happy spending her days _and_ nights in the house, even though there was almost always someone there. It gave her too much time to think about Bella and Edward. One minute she was worrying if Bella was doing anything stupidly dangerous, the next she was worrying if Edward was worse than miserably heartbroken. Even if it was of his own doing because he was a 'soulless' that needed to 'protect' people from himself._ Idiotic fool, _Alice often thought to herself.

It was another 13 days until Bella next wrote her letter, which was a relief for most of the family. Rosalie had hoped they had stopped, and they're family could move on. But, apparently not.

_Dear Alice_, Esme read with a slight frown at the next words.

_I had the most amazing hallucination today._

Emmett gave a harsh laugh. "I don't see her need to be extra dangerous to see him. For her, walking around must be an extreme sport the amount of injuries she gets."

He_ yelled at me for almost 2 minutes before I'd hit the brake too abruptly and launched myself over the handlebars. It was amazing._

"She has a motorbike," said Jasper, slightly envious. He'd been looking for a new ride for ages, but nothing had caught his eye.

"The truck may have been slow, but at least it was secure," Alice said incredulously. Edward must have taken her heart _and_ her mind.

_I didn't even feel the cut on my head (it only needed 5 stitches, so don't worry)_

"Like I said," the little vampire sighed, "at least the truck was secure."

_until Jacob mentioned it._

Esme grimaced. "I think it's great Bella has someone she can be around, but I'm not so keen on this Jacob. He seems... rebellious."

_Only problem is I need to see him more now. As they say, absence makes the heart grow fonder. But what will I do? I need something bigger, better... more dangerous._

"Yeah, cause motorbikes aren't dangerous enough," said Jasper sarcastically.

_I'm running out of ideas... but I have one good one left. I won't tell you here, but it'll work. Maybe he'll yell for longer this time. I hope he does, I'd love to see his face... I'd look at him forever if I could._

_I love you, I miss you,_

_Bella_

"Is there anything we can do?" Alice asked, already knowing the answer.

"No," Carlisle replied. "Nothing except sit and wait-"

"And hope she doesn't do something too stupid," Emmett finished. They all agreed.


	10. Holiday in Alaska

**Me again. I know, you're probably getting sick of me, but here i am again. A few of you reminded me that the letter in the beginning was different from the letter in the story, and I apologise for that. The cliff diving is not coming next. I know you're by anxious for this story to end, but you're not getting rid of me yet. And now, please enjoy chapter 10.**

* * *

Alice,

I thought Jake was plugging the hole, but I was wrong. He was just carving his own hole, not as bad as... Edwards, but bad enough. There's only so much of me people can take! And they've taken everything, both of them. It hurts so bad Alice. Please, please, you're my only friend. I need you.

I love you, I miss you so, so much,

Bella

* * *

A plan was settled, they all needed a holiday. Carlisle had applied for some holiday leave at the hospital, and it was spring break at the college. Carlisle, Esme, Jasper and Alice were to stay 6 weeks in Alaska with Tanya and her family. Emmett and Rosalie would only stay two, then they were off to Romania. They thought it was fun to scare the locals.

Bella sent another letter, the day before they were set to leave. Alice read through it and her face fell. She looked as close to tears as a vampire could. Jasper came to comfort her, while Emmett took the letter.

_Alice_, he read.

_I thought Jake was plugging the hole, but I was wrong. He was just carving his own hole, not as bad as... Edwards, but bad enough._

"That poor girl!" Esme exclaimed. "Everything hurtful seems to head straight for her."

_There's only so much of me people can take! And they've taken everything, both of them. It hurts so bad Alice. Please, please, you're my only friend. I need you._

_I love you, I miss you so, so much,_

_Bella_

"There isn't anything we can do, is there?" asked Alice quietly.

"Well," Jasper said, taking the letter from Emmett. "From the way she's written this, I'd say she'll send another letter soon, explaining what happened further. Maybe then we'll understand more."

Esme sighed as she walked up the stairs to pack. "And so we wait."

***

They didn't wait long.

The next day, only 23 minutes after greeting the Denali clan, Bella's second letter came. "I guess you were right Jasper," said Alice, walking in from the other room holding a piece of paper. Rosalie left the room.

"Right about what?" asked Kate.

Carlisle cleared his throat. "Well, before Alice came in you asked why Edward was not with us. The truth is we haven't seen him in a long time. He has been living by himself."

Tanya was shocked. "But why? He loves you."

Jasper looked pained. "There was an incident."

"Edward was in love with a human girl, Bella," Alice continued. "She knew about vampires of course. And we held her an 18th birthday party, where she accidentally got a paper cut." The room winced in unison.

"And Edward over reacted," said Esme sadly. "Jasper went for Bella, and Edward had knocked her out of the way onto a glass table. He came back after driving her home saying we were to leave immediately."

Jasper spoke up. "I volunteered to leave, just me. But he said it was too dangerous for Bella to be in our world altogether. So we left. And neither has been the same since. Edward actually looks like a vampire now, and Bella..."

"Writes us these," finished Alice, holding up the letter.

"How is she Alice?" Esme asked.

_Alice,_

_Things are...things are bad again. Jake's gone. He's ignoring me._

"I don't get it," said Emmett, his eyebrows furrowed in confusion. "Why would he just randomly start ignoring her?"

"No idea," Jasper replied. "Maybe we'll find out later."

_I must have done something else wrong. Why do I do this?! Every time I get close to happiness, I ruin it._

"Oh, Bella," Esme tutted. "Always blaming herself."

"So she is much like Edward then," Tanya said. She realised that a year ago when he stayed for the week that Bella must have been who he was so caught up in.

_Without Jake, I can't stand it. I don't see _him_ anymore...will it really feel like he never existed? _

"It doesn't sound like it," Kate noted. "If Edward was as in love with her as she him, then he is insane in leaving her."

Alice nodded. "We think so too."

_No, I don't believe that. He might not be here, he might take his things and move family, but his mark on me is irreversible. _

_Does love have to be so irrational?_

"Yes," agreed everyone in the room with a partner.

Esme looked at her husband lovingly. "The more you love someone, the less sense it makes."

_The more you love someone, the less sense it makes._

"See."

_And my case is worse. I'm forbidden to remember, yet I'm terrified to forget. But I'll never forget. He can't make me._

_I love you, I miss you,_

_Bella._

"What I don't understand is if he loved her so much, why not make her a vampire?" stated Irina obviously. "Did she not want it?"

"No, she wanted it alright," said Emmett. "Edward's just a douche bag."

Carlisle smirked in spite of himself. "Edward is not a bag of douche, he just believed that in becoming a vampire you loose your soul."

Kate frowned. "That sounds stupid. We're not... emo enough to think that," she said looking at her family.

Jasper smiled. "When it comes to Bella, emo is Edwards middle name."


	11. Laurent

**200!!!!! Yay I love you guys! I never expected this, you are the best readers ever. OKay, quick thing. I got a review from someone called ashes, and they didn't have the account. I'm sorry but i didn't understand your review. Anywho, This story is almost over! How sad! But, I might have a little something up my sleeve for when it's done :D**

* * *

Alice,

I saw him again today! Jake still wasn't here, so I thought if I went to the meadow, _our_ meadow, he would be there... but he wasn't. I was debating whether to go home or stay and wait until the flowers grew again and it looked like our meadow, when the most amazing thing happened. Laurent was here! A real vampire! Solid proof that the last few months of my real life weren't a dream or a hallucination inside my head. He was real!

Laurent said he was here on a favour to Victoria. He said he had to check if I was still under the protection of... of you. He said he was out hunting when he smelt me and now he was going to kill me. He said he was doing me a favour because whatever he would do to me Victoria would do a thousand times more painfully. Then _he... _Edward told me I had to lie, then he said lie better (he knows I'm a terrible liar), and he told me to plead. That's when the wolves came.

But they're not ordinary wolves, they were massive wolves, bigger than Emmett. There were 5 of them, and they chased after Laurent. They saved me... for now.

I know Laurent will have killed them. I know he will have went back to Victoria and told her I'm alone. I'm so scared. Help me Alice. What do I do? I don't want her to hurt Charlie. Should I try and find her by myself, so she kills just me?

I miss you, I love you,

Bella

* * *

As the days passed on, Irina became more and more anxious. About two days before the Cullens arrived, Laurent had left mysteriously, saying only that he had a favour to do for an old friend. He hadn't been seen in two weeks. She kept her worries to herself though.

And two weeks was when Bella's next letter came. The two families watched as Alice re-read the letter to herself. They watched her lips fall into a frown, and her eye's widen in surprise and horror.

Emmett grew impatient. "So, are you planning on freaking us out a bit more, or can we see the letter?" Alice handed it to him wordlessly.

_Alice,_ said Emmett.

_I saw him again today!_

"Who did she see?" asked Tanya.

"Edward," replied Jasper. "She... um... hallucinates in dangerous situations," he said, trying not to make Bella seem so strange.

_Jake still wasn't here, so I thought if I went to the meadow, our meadow, he would be there... but he wasn't. I was debating whether to go home or stay and wait until the flowers grew again and it looked like our meadow, when the most amazing thing happened. Laurent was here!_

"What!?" Irina ran in from the other room.

Carlisle wasn't looking to happy. "You said Laurent was helping out an old friend. Did he say what friend he was helping?"

"No," Irina said, looking striken for her lover.

_ A real vampire! Solid proof that the last few months of my real life weren't a dream or a hallucination inside my head. He was real!_

_Laurent said he was here on a favour to Victoria._

The Cullens knew now why Alice still hadn't moved since handing Emmett the letter. She was scanning the future, looking for Victoria's plans. With the time it was taking, they all guessed she had come up with nothing.

"How would Victoria have gone to Laurent if she's in South America?" asked Emmett.

"The fake trail!," realised Jasper, going into full Major Whitlock mode. "When Edward said she had laid a fake trail, it must have been where she really went. She laid a fake trail of her scent down to Brazil that was stronger than her real sent that came up here."

"He did say that he met the friend when he went out hunting," confirmed Tanya, still not entirely sure why the Cullens were so worried. "What is so bad about Laurent being up there?"

Alice came out of her trance. "Dammit! I got nothing! Not one tiny sliver of information!" She stood up furiously and began to pace. "She must have found out somehow that I'm psychic..." she trailed off and stopped pacing. Slowly, she turned and looked at Irina. "How much did you tell Laurent about us?"

Irina looked at Alice determinedly. Her love for her mate was stronger than her love for the Cullens. "Everything he wanted to know."

Alice resisted the urge to scream in anger. "Do you realise that you've given him the tools Victoria needs to kill Bella?"

Irina was angry now. "If Laurent told this Victoria the information, then he must have had good reason too. He is not to blame for this!"

_Time to break it up_, thought Carlisle. "Do any of you know the full story of what happened with James?" The Denali clan shook their heads. "Okay. Well, when Bella and our family were playing baseball one day, and James, Victoria and Laurent came onto the field. James realised Bella was human, saw Edwards tie to her, and thought it would be fun to manipulate and kill her. We didn't realise at the time the bond that Victoria had towards him. It came to a fight and Edward killed James. Now it looks like Victoria is after Bella for revenge."

"If there's anything we can do to help, we'll do it," said Tanya. Kate nodded. Irina looked away.

"Now that little disagreement's over, let's continue to read," said Jasper, calming down after the flood of emotions he'd just felt.

_He said he had to check if I was still under the protection of... of you. He said he was out hunting when he smelt me and now he was going to kill me. He said he was doing me a favour because whatever he would do to me Victoria would do a thousand times more painfully. Then he... Edward told me I had to lie, and Edward said to lie better (he knows I'm a terrible liar), and he told me to plead. That's when the wolves came._

Carlisle's eyes widened immensely. "That's not possible," he gasped, astounded.

"The werewolves?" asked Alice. She wasn't there the last time the wolves were seen, and she knew very little about them.

Esme was anxious. "But the last time the wolves were here was to get rid of the-"

"Vampires," finished Jasper.

_But they're not ordinary wolves, they were massive wolves, bigger than Emmett. There were 5 of them, and they chased after Laurent. They saved me... for now._

"Laurent could kill the wolves, right? Or he could out run them, couldn't he?" asked Irina desperately. The Cullens bowed their heads.

"If it was the werewolves," said Esme slowly and sadly, "then I'm sorry but he will be dead."

"No. He's not, he's not!" yelled Irina in denial. She tore out of the room and into the forest. Her two sisters followed.

The room was silent, Eventually the silence was broken by Jasper. "What I don't get is, why'd they suddenly come back? The werewolves " he said.

"No idea," said Alice. "But whatever it is, they saved Bella. Keep reading."

_I know Laurent will have killed them. I know he will have went back to Victoria and told her I'm alone. I'm so scared. Help me Alice. What do I do? I don't want her to hurt Charlie. Should I try and find her by myself, so she kills just me?_

_I miss you, I love you,_

_Bella._

"You know," Emmett said, addressing the group. "I think Bella must have the Curse of the Mythical Creatures or something, because all things weird and that aren't supposed to happen seem to happen around her."

Alice agreed. "I might start to believe that soon."


	12. The World is Weird

**Hi, me again. Ashes, i understood that review :D Thank you! And I am urging you to get an account. We are nearing the end of the story now darlings, and we'll only have one or two more chapters. When this is over, I will post a new story almost immediately, so pleeease review that too :D**

* * *

Alice,

Jake just left my room. I have just had the weirdest conversations in my life.

He came in through the window (almost giving me a heart attack in the process). I was so mad at him I tried to push him back the way he came. It didn't work to well, he's about twice the size of me. He said he came to apologise, which he did. I told him I wanted an explanation for how he'd been acting. Then he said the creepiest thing;

'Haven't you ever had a secret that you couldn't tell anyone? Something you felt like you had to keep from Charlie, from your mom, something you won't even talk about with me? Not even now? Can you understand that I might have the same kind of situation? Sometimes it's not your secret to tell.'

How the hell could he know?! I didn't see how that had anything to do with our conversation. You're gone, you don't affect the Quilutes any more. I told him I didn't understand, and he told me that I knew the answer. He was forbidden to tell me, but he wasn't breaking any rules if I guessed his secret. He left me to think, and said I could come round tomorrow, but he'd understand if I didn't want to see him again.

So here's how it stands. He knows you're a vampire. He know's it's dangerous to be around me because of Victoria. He's got some freaky weird secret that it's 'against the rules' to tell me. And I'm completely confused.

What's going on?

I miss you, I love you,

Bella

* * *

It took hours to finally get Irina back in the house. Tanya and Kate came back with her, practically dragging her sobbing body through the door. Carlisle went to see what he could do to help, but his presence did more harm than good.

The Cullens packed a bag of things, and drove to a hotel for the night.

When they were there the next morning they got Bella's next letter.

_Alice, _read Esme.

_Jake just left my room. I have just had the weirdest conversations in my life._

_He came in through the window (almost giving me a heart attack in the process). I was so mad at him I tried to push him back the way he came. It didn't work to well, he's about twice the size of me._

"So," said Jasper. "Anyone here think there's a possibility Jacob's not a werewolf?" No one moved. "Didn't think so."

_He said he came to apologise, which he did. I told him I wanted an explanation for how he'd been acting. Then he said the creepiest thing;_

_'Haven't you ever had a secret that you couldn't tell anyone? Something you felt like you had to keep from Charlie, from your mom, something you won't even talk about with me? Not even now? Can you understand that I might have the same kind of situation? Sometimes it's not your secret to tell.'_

"He can say that to her?" Carlisle asked confused. "Telling a human about the werewolves is illegal unless it's an Imprint. And that's only happened a few times."

"Could Bella be an Imprint for Jacob?" asked Alice.

"No," Carlisle replied. "If she was his Imprint he could have just said "I'm a werewolf" rather than being this cryptic."

_How the hell could he know?! I didn't see how that had anything to do with our conversation. You're gone, you don't affect the Quilutes any more. I told him I didn't understand, and he told me that I knew the answer. He was forbidden to tell me, but he wasn't breaking any rules if I guessed his __secret._

"How would she know he's a werewolf? If I was human, that's a particular piece of information I'd commit to memory," said Esme.

_He left me to think, and said I could come round tomorrow, but he'd understand if I didn't want to see him again._

__

So here's how it stands. He knows you're a vampire. He know's it's dangerous to be around me because of Victoria. He's got some freaky weird secret that it's 'against the rules' to tell me. And I'm completely confused.

_What's going on?_

_I miss you, I love you,_

_Bella_

"How long will it be until she get's it do you think?" Jasper asked.

Not long apparently. About four hours later, they received this;

_Alice,_

_Is it possible that everything is true? Fairy tales and horror stories? Is it possible that there isn't anything sane or normal at all? Is it possible that every myth and legend out there is rooted in fact? And is it possible that I'm some sort of magnet for them?_

_I miss you, I love you,_

_Bella_

Alice put her head in her hands. "My best friend has become best friends with a werewolf after suffering the worst breakup in history from a vampire. The world is weird."


	13. The Most Frightening Vision Of Her Life

**Okayz, this is kinda a filler chapter, so I'm sorry if it isn't as good as some of the others. Hope you like it anyway!**

* * *

Alice,

I'm alright... until I'm alone. And lately that's all the time. Jacob's gone. He's hunting Victoria. And Charlie's hunting Jacob. And you're gone. And so is Edward. And there's just nothing now.

I haven't seen Edward in a long time. Too long. I need to see him. Like a junkie whose waited to long for a hit, I'll do anything to get it. They don't make a rehab for people like me. Just the asylum.

Love is so much like a disease. You loose yourself in it, change because of it. It makes you a different person. For some, it can make them stronger. Others, weakens them to the core. And, most of all, love has the power to break you. I've been broken beyond repair.

I will see him again.

I miss you, I love you,

Bella

* * *

Tanya dropped the rest of the Cullens things off later that day. She and Carlisle continually apologised to each other throughout the visit, and Tanya insisted that no fault was laid on the them for Laurents' death.

Throughout the two weeks that followed, there was no letter from Bella. Alice began to fret. Could Bella love her werewolf more than them? Maybe the wolves had turned Bella against Vampires? Would she stop writing? Did she hate them all now? Did she love Jacob? These questions and many more flew round and round in her mind like a vulture waiting for it's next meal. She wasn't a happy person in those two weeks.

"Maybe," said Carlisle one day, "some of us should go back? You know, a kind of peace offering to Irina? I feel awful in the way we left her..."

"I'll go," volunteered Alice, rubbing her temple. She had been having headaches for the past few days, which had never happened before. "Me and Jasper. I really could use the break." Alice knew Jasper would have no objections, and he nodded his head and agreed.

Carlisle frowned sympathetically. "I had noticed you didn't look your best."

"Yeh I haven't-" Alice broke off. "She's writing!"

Jasper brought her a pen and some paper and she began writing, her eyes blank.

_Alice_, she read when she was done.

_I'm alright... until I'm alone. And lately that's all the time. Jacob's gone. He's hunting Victoria._

"Is she really there?" Esme asked Jasper. "Or is it a fake trail."

He thought for a moment. "Well, she's not stupid. She would be able to smell the wolves, and when Laurent never came back she will know that they killed him. Actually, that's probably why she sent him in the first place, to see if the wolves would attack. She will have fled there long ago."

_And Charlie's hunting Jacob. And you're gone. And so is Edward. And there's just nothing now. _

_I haven't seen Edward in a long time. Too long. I need to see him. Like a junkie whose waited to long for a hit, I'll do anything to get it._

"The anything bit is worrying," said Emmett, his eyebrows creasing together. He and Rosalie had arrived back from Romania the other day. Rosalie was in a much better mood now, and didn't leave the room whenever Bella was mentioned.

_They don't make a rehab for people like me. Just the asylum._

"Let's hope it doesn't go that far," Alice said.

_Love is so much like a disease. You loose yourself in it, change because of __it. It makes you a different person. For some, it can make them stronger. Others, weakens them to the core. And, most of all, love has the power to break you. I've been broken beyond repair._

_I will see him again. _

_I miss you, I love you,_

_Bella _

Alice shivered. She couldn't quite put her finger on it, but she had a nagging suspicion something was wrong. She ignored it.

With no one willing to comment on the last part of Bella's letter, Alice folded it and put it in her pocket. "Well," she said, "I guess Jazz and I should go pack."

***

The bad feeling stayed with her, and it frustrated her to know she couldn't think of what it was, or what it meant.

Jasper and Alice drove back to Alaska the next day, using Carlisles' car as it had the most gas. Though Jasper knew his wife felt uneasy, he kept quiet. She would tell him in her own time.

They were met with a mostly warm welcome. Irina refused to come downstairs and greet them, instead preferring to remain locked up in her room, answering to no one.

The pair offered to leave immediately, but the offer was dismissed. "Don't be silly!" laughed Tanya. "At least wait until tomorrow."

"I do need to feed..." Jasper said, mostly to himself.

"Me too," Kate agreed.

"I'll go with you," Tanya smiled. She hated that Laurents death might cause a rift between the two families. While Irina loved him deeply, there was something about him that just made him seem... untrustworthy. "Will you join us Alice?" she offered.

"No thank you," Alice replied kindly. "I've been feeling a little... foggy lately. I might just rest for a while."

The three left. Half an hour later they still hadn't returned. _They must have gone far,_ she thought.

That was when she had the most frighting vision of her life.


	14. Edward? It's Rosalie

_**Okay people. THIS IS NOT THE LAST CHAPTER! Just wanted to make this clear, there will be one more chapter after this. Relax. Breathe. And please enjoy this chapter, cause i think you will :D (P.S. thank you for the +300 reviews! I luv u)**_

_

* * *

The wind blew furiously, and the sun peeped out through the thick, grey clouds. The water below churned and crashed against the side of a rocky cliff. _

_At the top of the cliff stood a girl. Dark shadows circled her deep brown eyes, and she looked like she was plagues by nightmares. Her body wasn't overly thin, yet she looked frail. Her eye's had a strange gleam of anticipation. _

_The girl slowly pulled off her jacket. Then, she walked forward, one step then two, her toes feeling the edge of the rock face. Her eyes were closed. She let out a breath and smiled. _

"_Yes?" she said, replying to a question asked from no one. Tiny rain spatters fell from the heavens. Thunder clapped in the distance and lightning struck the horizon._

__

"You wanted me to be human. Well, watch me," said the girl. Was she delusional? She seemed to talk to someone, but who? She dangled her foot slightly over the edge again, and then pulled it back abruptly.

_She shook her head. "You won't stay with me any other way." The rain fell heavily now, the girls hair was plastered to her face and her clothes clung to her small frame. The clouds now looked almost black. But the girl noticed nothing. _

_Her smile widened. She rolled up onto the balls of her feet, raised her hands above her head, and jumped. _

_The young girl plummeted towards the water and her untimely death. Her scream echoed as the vision faded to black..._

"Noooooo!" screamed Alice, jerking back to reality, gasping from the horror she'd just witnessed.

That was it, Bella was dead. The bad feeling that had been with her was this, the death of her friend. She pulled her legs up to her chin and sobbed. And sobbed. And sobbed.

Alice felt numb. The past few letters had made her think Bella was getting better, healing. They had made her think Bella was happy. What happened?

Anger welled up inside her; Jacob Black. He was the last thing to cause Bella pain, that stupid, moronic dog! Alice enjoyed thinking of ways to cause pain to him...

But Alice couldn't think that way for long. Bella wouldn't have been with Jacob if they hadn't left. Bella wouldn't have needed anyone else. Bella wouldn't have died.

She had to do something. Anything, Alice thought.

And then it struck her; Charlie. He'd be all alone in that house. She'd have to be there for him. They'd grieve together.

Alice raced to the kitchen and scribbled a not to Jasper;

_Jazz,_

__

Bella's dead. Jumped off a cliff. I've gone down to see Charlie, he needs someone. Don't follow, I'll be back soon. Please tell the others.

I love you,

_Alice  
_  
Alice left the note on the couch and grabbed the keys.

***

Jasper arrived back at the house not 10 minutes after Alice had driven away. "Sorry we took so long honey, Kate decided to... Alice?" He couldn't find her. Then he saw the note on the couch and his face fell.

"What is it?," Kate asked. "Where is she?"

"With Bella's dad. She's dead." Tanya gasped and Kate bowed her head. "Alice had a vision of her jumping off a cliff."

Jasper sat down and out his head in his hands to think. _Bella's gone. Alice's gone back. She said not to find her... I have to do something!  
_  
He stood up again a minute later. "I'm very sorry about this, I'm going to have to leave."

Tanya nodded gravely. "We understand, of course."

Jasper headed out the door and broke into a run. It was time to tell the family.

***

"NO!" Esme sinking into the couch her eyes looking as though tears could fall. "This can't be true!" She looked up to Carlisle, almost pleadingly, as though he could tell her that everything was alright.

He couldn't. Instead he wrapped his arms around his as she began to sob.

"Shit," said Emmett, sitting on the foot of the stairs. "Shit, I – I thought it was getting better." He couldn't believe it. No one could believe it.

In amongst the shock and sorrow, Rosalie was unnoticed as she slipped out the back door

***

"Edward? It's Rosalie." Rosalie stood in the forest, far enough away from the house that no one could hear her as she talked into the phone held to her ear.

Edward was slow to respond. "Hello," he said flatly.

"There's been some news here." She took a deep breath. "It's about... Bella."

Rosalie heard Edwards breathing stop. "I told Alice not to watch out for her," he said slowly and stonily.

"I know you did Edward but... it's just... Edward she's dead."

The silence that followed seemed to last a lifetime. "W-what do you mean she's dead? She's not dead. She's fine. She's fine and she's living. She's living with Charlie and Renee and Angela and Mike-"

"Alice saw her jump Edward. She jumped off the cliff at La Push." Rosalie felt so much pain for her brother then. But it was okay, he'd get over her now, then they could get back to normal.

"She's dead?" he asked finally.

"Yes, Edward. I'm so sorry but-" the line cut off. Rosalie snapped her phone shut.

He'd get over it. He'd get over it, and he'd come back, and everything would be fine again...

So she thought.


	15. It's not real

**I reaaallllyyy think you'll like this chapter! :D Luv u guys, and the epilogue is ready to go, I'll post it wednesday :D**

* * *

Alice knocked three times on Charlie's door, still figuring out her excuse for randomly turning up. I waited for a minute, then knocked again. No one answered.

She went around the back and let herself in._ For a cop, Charlie isn't big on home security, _thought Alice. She just had to see what it was like. What Bella was like. If it was really as bad as she had written in her letters.

It was. Everything was neat, too neat. It's like Esme had been cleaning like she does when she's nervous. Books were arranged perfectly on their shelves, even in alphabetical order. Bella hadn't done that before. There wasn't a crease in her bedspread, and not a flack of dust could be found.

Alice heard voices coming from outside. she only listened vaguely to their conversation. It was rude to spy... well, at least that was what Jazz said while looking all disapprovingly at her.

The girls voice caught her. It couldn't be... could it? It was impossible...

"It's Carlisle's car! It's the Cullens, I know it." A moment passed. "Hey, calm down Jake. It's okay, no danger, see? Relax."

Alice continued to listen as she walked slowly downstairs, a look of confusion on her face.

"There's a vampire in your house, and you want to go back?" asked the male voice. That must have been Jacob Black. Alice didn't know what Bella was talking about them getting along, she thought he seemed a dick.

"Of course. It's not a trick, it's Carlisle, take me back."

"No."

"Jake, it's okay-"

"No, take yourself back Bella." Alice's breath caught in her throat. How could this have happened? She couldn't be wrong. "Treaty or no treaty, that's my enemy in there. I have to tell Sam right away, we can't be caught on their territory."

"Jake, it's not a war!"

The door of the truck slammed shut. "Bye Bella." The boy's parting words were cold. "I really hope you don't die."

The truck stood idle for a moment, then the passenger slid over and drove into the driveway of Charlie's house. Alice stood in the doorway of the kitchen, waiting, watching.

The front door inched open slowly, and the girl's arm felt around on the wall for the light switch. Alice hadn't noticed how late it was. Once the girl found the light...

"Alice! Oh, Alice!" Bella practically threw herself into her best friends arms. Tears streamed from her eyes and into Alice's blouse.

Alice's head was spinning. She had seen Bella jump, that she was very sure if. She remembered it with perfect clarity, the thrashing of the water, the scream, the vision fading to black.

Bella's sweet sent filled Alice's nose, and her natural instinct flared. She was hungry... No! She moved her breathing to a minimum.

"I'm … sorry," Bella said eventually, between sobs. "I'm just … so happy … to se you!"

"It's okay Bella, everything's okay."

"Yes," she agreed.

"And speaking of which," Alice said. "Would you like to explain to me how you're alive?"

Bella pulled back and they walked into the living room. "You saw me fall."

"No,"Alice corrected, sitting on the couch. "I saw you _jump_."

Bella sat for a while, looking as though she was thinking of a rational explanation. Alice shook her head.

"I told him this would happen, but he didn't believe me." She stood up and started to pace. " 'Bella promised' he said. 'Don't be looking for her future either, we've done enough damage.' Just because I don't _look_ doesn't mean I _don't_ see!" Alice turned to Bella. "I wasn't keeping tabs on you Bella, I swear. It's just I'm very attuned to you … when I saw you jump, I just got on a plane. I knew I would be too late, but I couldn't do _nothing_. And then I get here thinking I could help, and you drive up!

"I saw you jump, the waves were huge, there's no way a human could survive it, especially at the hight you jumped. What the hell happened?! And how could you do that to Charlie? Did you stop to think what it would do to him? And-"

"Alice I wasn't committing suicide," Bella said, interrupting Alice's rant.

Alice looked at her sceptically. "Are you saying you didn't jump of a cliff?"

"No... but it was for recreational purposes only," Bella assured her. "I'd seen Jacob's friends doing it, and it seemed like fun... I was bored..." she looked up at Alice, realising she sounded crazy.

Alice sighed and sat back down, smiling. "It's official Bella, you are clinically insane." She laughed.

Bella gulped. "How... how long are you staying Alice?"

"I don't know..." Alice was a little worried what her family would think.

Her eye's widened and she hugged her vampire friend. "Please stay! I've missed you so much! Just for a little while?"

"Okay, okay! But I need to hunt," Alice pulled back, her thirst peaking. "Immediately."

Bella moved back. "Oops."

"It's okay, I'll be back in one hour." Alice kissed her friend lightly on the cheek (holding her breath of course), and took of into the forest. They could discuss the letters later.

***

As Alice headed back, she sensed there was someone with Bella. Okay, she heard them talking. She backed away into the forest to give them privacy.

You'd think after seeing your best friends 'death', any other vision would pale in comparison. Not this one.

"_It's not real... it's not real... it's not real." On the floor of a mucky South American apartment, sat a man rocking back and forth, his arms around his knees, his eyes crazed. "It's not real... it's not real..." But there was a way to check. _

_He scrambled into the other room where he'd left his phone after Rosalie... he shuddered in pain. He dialled the number he'd sworn he would forget. _

"_Swan residence." Not Charlie, not Charlie, where's Charlie?_

_Edward changed his voice to resemble his fathers. He didn't want the person who answered to know him. _

_He swallowed. "May- may I speak to Charlie?"_

__

The person's voice hardened. "He's not here." Not here, not here, why not here?

"Where is he?"

"He's at the funeral."

_Edward hung up faster than the phone could handle it. It crumbled to dust inside his fist. Again, he collapsed to the ground and cried. _

_It _was_ real. _

_She was gone, she was gone... and he'd do exactly what he'd planned to do before._

Alice came out of her vision and ran back to Bella's house as fast as her legs would carry her.

"Bella."

Bella turned around and saw the pain in her friends eyes. "Alice, Alice what's wrong."

"It's Edward... he thinks you're dead."


	16. Epilogue The Plane

**Okay, I know this is much shorter than what you're used to, but this is the ending. Luv you for your reviews and feedback!!!**

* * *

Sitting on a plane to Italy, Alice removed herself from Edwards future for a moment. All the indecision was giving her a brain pain. Bella looked up at her. "Anything new?" she asked.

Alice shook her head. After pausing a second, she said " I got them."

Bella looked confused. "Got what?"

"Your letters." Bella's eyes widened. "I'd see them in a vision... me and the rest of the family would read them. We were so worried about you." Alice's voice broke on the last word, memories of all the pain she'd read flooded her mind.

Bella was stunned for a moment. "I... I never thought you got them. I mean... I don't know why I kept writing them. I guess I just hoped, you know, you might care about me enough to see." A tear leaked from the corner of her eye.

"You don't know how many times they had to stop me from running back to you, Bella."

"But... why'd you leave then?" Bella had her arms wrapped around her chest, hugging herself, or maybe shielding herself. "He... Edward said that he didn't want me... and he'd convinced you..."

Alice took her friends hands. "Bella, listen to my words. We left because our brother couldn't bear to see you hurt. Vampires are the most dangerous predators in the world, and, as far as we know, there are only about 12 who don't have humans as a late night snack. It happened before, with James. But seeing the danger he was putting you in coming from his own brother... he wanted you to live."

Bella shook her head. _It's not true, _said the hole in her chest where her heart used to live. _Don't listen, it's not true._

"Bella, look at me." She raised her eyes to meet Alice's. The golden bore down into the brown with undoubtable sincerity.

"He loves you. He loves you, and he'd rather leave than see you dead. I mean, don't get me wrong, he's idiotic and delusional, but... his intentions were good. He thought by you being distanced from our world would make you be human, and be happy with a little less chance of dying than you would around us.

"That's what kept me from coming back. In the back of my mind there was this little, nagging voice that kept saying you were better off. That's what Jazz and the others told me... After your second letter, I ran. I ran into the woods and would have ran back to you. Emmett grabbed me and Jasper calmed me... I was crying in there for hours. My point is, we weren't there because we didn't want you to die... we cared too much about you. Of course, the easy way to fix that would be to make you a vampire, but like I said, idiotic and delusional."

"I'm so sorry Alice." Bella was filled with regret. She shouldn't have wrote the letters. " About the letters. I- I never knew-"

"Shh Bella, shh. Everything's fine now." She checked on Edward future to see that it was set. "And it actually might be. He's gone for dramatic ending. Noon at the clock tower."

"Which means...?"

Alice smiled. "It means we might actually save him."

And of course, dear readers, we know that they do.


End file.
